Today, I went with a fellow expatriate around town to run some errands.  We stopped at the dry cleaners and I was not at all surprised that “Big Brother” was there waiting for me.  We also went to a merchant that sold all types of fabric and specializes in making sofa covers.  ”Big Brother” was, again, there and serving us.  ”Big Brother” can be found at the local shop where I often stop hurriedly to by treats for my kids and bread for dinner.  This weekend, we are hoping to get away with some friends for a night out of town, and…you guessed it…”Big Brother” will be tagging along.

By this point, you might assume I am…delusional…cooky…mad as a hatter.  I might be a raving, maniacal conspiracy theorist that lives in fear of New World Order. Well, some of that is true…I was terrified the night of Y2K.  Nevertheless, I mostly just suffer with cultural confusion!

In Turkey, it is the cultural norm to address people by a familial title, such as aunt, uncle, big brother, or big sister. So, for instance, my children call our downstairs neighbor Nadire Teyze, meaning Aunt Nadire, even though she is obviously NOT our blood relative.  My friend, Gül, I address as Gül Abla, meaning “Sister Gül,” out of respect because she is my elder.  To all of the neighborhood children, I am “Tasha Teyze” or Aunt Tash.

My children have adopted this custom, and since the time we relocated overseas, have called most everyone, be they Turk or be they American, by aunt, uncle, brother and sister titles.  And, in turn, I am so rich in nieces and nephews across the globe that I could be the wife of Midas!  It is sometimes odd, especially at the beginning, to have everyone’s child calling you “Aunt.”  My children were quite confused for a couple of years about their “Aunt Debra,” and how she was their real aunt when others were not real aunts.  We finally got that sorted out over time!

So what do I think?  Even with the confusion, the sense of familiarity, of being more than a casual work or school acquaintance happens to be quite comforting.  I have come to the personal conclusion that being called “Aunt Tash” is a precious and lovely way of blending obvious respect with the intimacy that comes from time well spent together.

And, don’t forget the great thing about nieces and nephews.  You get their hugs, kisses, and charm…AND THEN you send them home to Mom and Dad!

It’s the best of both worlds!

Tash