As our anniversary approaches, (10 years!!! Yay!!!) we are beginning to plan how we will celebrate. Since we are coming to the States this summer, we’re thinking of leaving the kids with Nana and enjoying some parts of Kentucky that we have neglected, namely Bardstown and Shaker Village. Bed and breakfasts, dinner trains, musicals…yes…I think we will love it!

Planning this, I remembered some things that I have learned about marriage and traditions in Turkey. A couple of years ago, we had a Turkish family over for the Ramazan meal to break their fast. During that night, the wife, told us the story of how she met her husband when he came to visit her small village. She said she loved him at first sight, but he was not so sure!   After a little time, he was convinced, and his family came with him (as is the tradition) to visit her family, bringing gifts to ask for her hand in marriage. They had to wait for a year or so, and she said that it was the longest wait of her life!

She told us about a comical tradition. Evidently, if a groom’s family comes, one of the main things that needs to be investigated is the bride’s culinary talent. The mother-in-law to be tests this by throwing her rice pilav at the wall. If it sticks, too bad!

I took this quote from www.aturkishcookinamerica.com, “Classic rice pilaf is the backbone of many different recipes from Turkey. Turks do not like sticky rice, which can be a major source of embarrassment for a cook.” Ha!  I am certainly glad that my husband didn’t put too much emphasis on my cooking before we got married…I would be out of luck!

Another deeply loved tradition in Turkey is the girls only “kina gecesi,” that takes place the night before the wedding.  The bride appears, usually dressed in traditional red head dress, with her face covered. The girls will then bring out the henna (kina) and begin the ritual singing while dancing in circles around the bride.  All of this culminates in the bride having the henna pressed on her hands, which will leave a circular, orange stain for several days.  I have been lucky enough to be invited to several of these parties now, but I must tell you about the first one I attended.

We were invited, along with some American friends to a kina gecesi. My son was ill, so my husband elected to stay home with him while my toddler daughter and I tagged along with our friends.  We had danced well close to midnight when the mother of the bride insisted that we have one dance, with the American friends only, and get it videotaped.  The problem was that my little daughter had danced herself into a crying frenzy, so I decided to try to do this foreign dance–in heels— holding her on one hip, with my arm linked around the shoulder of a Turkish girlfriend.  The dancing circle went left, the dancing circle went right, and then I was on the ground! The whole party just sort of halted with a gasp while everyone waited to see if the American guest would be able to pick herself up!!  I couldn’t!!!  My friend and her husband immediately came to my aid, and I had a sore and bruised bottom for about 3 days.  When I apologized profusely to the bride, she said, “It is not important.  I am exhausted.  If you hadn’t fallen, I would have been here all night with these people!”

Just glad I could be of service!  Moral of the story: When life knocks you down…pick your bruised bottom up!

Tash

Friday marked the end of the semester for my kids at their local school.  We picked up their grade cards, (So proud of both of them!) said goodbye to their teacher, and let out a huge sigh.  Whew.  Another semester down! So, the kids have been enjoying playing outside with the neighbor’s kids in this chilly weather we’ve had.  We actually had ice on the pavement behind our apartment building. This is strange for a city lined with palm trees! What this break also means, is that I get time to play with my friends as well.

Saturday night, we were planning to have our neighbors over for tea.  They have a daughter close to our children’s age and we have had many wonderful times together chatting, watching movies, playing Uno and Apples to Apples.  She came by on Saturday afternoon to drop her daughter off so she could go to the local fresh food bazaar.  After she left, she called and said, “I have an idea.  Why don’t we come for dinner and you can teach me to make pizza?”  This is one of my favorite things about living in Central Asia!  I love the spontaneous…”Hey…are you home?  We’re coming!”…attitude.  At first, it was hard to get used to.  Now, it is comfortable. Seven years ago, I would have panicked knowing that I didn’t have the ingredients on hand.  But, I knew that she would say, “What do you need me to get while I am out?”  And she did!

We had such a good time making pizza, and eating it too, that we agreed to meet the next afternoon for a cooking lesson at her home.  I am always thrilled to get the chance to learn a new authentic dish!! We arrived at 3:30 and began working on stuffed cabbage leaves.  This is the same sort of idea as the famous Mediterranean stuffed grape leaves, except with cabbage leaves.  It was a riot!  We littered her entire kitchen with the carnage of a gigantic head of cabbage! We first softened the leaves in boiling water.  After this, we prepared the stuffing of rice, onions, tomatoes, peppers, olive oil, and seasonings such as tomato paste, red pepper paste, dill, parsley, salt and pepper.  We rolled this mixture up into the cabbage leaves and put them on the stove in some water to cook.  We took the leftover cabbage pieces to make the inside filling for a pastry type dish that she would make for later, actually for breakfast for us this morning!  Again, the stuffing was onion, tomato paste, red pepper paste, and seasonings.  And I must say…breakfast was delicious!  She lastly made a sauce for the stuffed leaves from…of course, tomato paste, red pepper paste, olive oil and garlic.  She sent a full plate home with us, and John and I devoured it much like a starved character from Twilight.

Before we left her home that evening, she offered me a cup of Turkish coffee.  This coffee is boiled on the stove with very fine grounds and sugar combined.  It is strong enough to grow hair on your chest, but after all of our years here, I crave it.  While she was putting the coffee and sugar in the pot, I flippantly said, “Oh…you forgot the tomato and pepper paste.”  She looked curiously at me, and then we both dissolved into a fit of laughter!  She said, “It is true!  I put it in everything!  What can I say? It is good!”  I must agree!!

What I Have Learned About Cooking Here…

1.  Of course…tomato and red pepper paste give extra zing to many main dishes.

2.  Do not be afraid of onions and garlic! Use in abundance!

Singers of the Slaw Burger!

3.  Waste little. I have never been so impressed with frugality as I have been in this country.  In the typical kitchen, the trash can is a tiny little box that sits on top of the counter.  Mine is a huge contraption that could swallow five of theirs. My friend made 3 separate dishes from one large head of cabbage. She didn’t throw away one piece of it.  From the hard inner leaves, she made a dish she had recently learned from a friend. She said, “It is called Cole Slaw.” Made this Kentucky girl feel right at home! One day, I will tell her how good it is on a burger!  (Courtesy of my friends, The Kentucky Headhunters!)

4.  A little bit of meat can flavor a whole pot. One common dish here is beans flavored with a bit of beef, maybe a half a pound, and–wouldn’t you guess–tomato paste!  It is served over rice.

I will write more in the future about our scandalous cooking.  Next up…Fajitas!

Tash

I fell prey to one of the most common traps that can affect a family’s health in 2009—busyness. When the stressors of life pull us in ten different directions, healthy food choices seem to be one of the disciplines that fly out the window first. Now, don’t misunderstand and judge me too quickly my dear supermom friends. I am still cooking most nights, and many mornings for breakfast. I try to go to the local fresh food markets to buy veggies and fruits. Most nights include some type of salad. So…what has been the deal breaker? Lunch. Or lack thereof!

The past couple of years, I was very faithful to pack a lunch for my kiddos for school. Much of the time it was a PBJ sandwich on whole grain with some type of fruit. Sometimes it had a Mediterranean flare–tomatoes, cucumbers, cheese, olives, salami and bread.

This year, out of sheer busyness, I started sending change to school more often for the kids to buy toasted cheese sandwich, a hamburger, or deli sandwich from school. Little did I know that my daughter was mostly buying the toasted cheese which was cheaper so that she could buy chips or have candy money. I should have expected this from my little entrepreneur, but didn’t give much thought to what they were actually buying with their money.

When my daughter began to put on a little more weight than I had been used to seeing on her, I wasn’t concerned. I had noticed a pattern with her in the past where she would put on weight, and a few weeks later grow in height and it all seemed to balance itself out. But, the past few months, this has not been the case. Thankfully, she is only eight years old, and we still have lots of time to learn to make good choices. Of course, this means Mom has to set the example! The hardest part!

We had a talk. I had been afraid to approach her about this subject, knowing how sensitive girls can be. I was never a thin child, and know first hand. But, she actually showed thankfulness for me talking to her, and even said, “I have and idea! We could make a list of what foods we should eat and when I want a snack, I can just read the list!” Of course, it hasn’t been that simple, and there has been some complaining, but overall, we are trying to make better choices. We are holding each other mutually accountable to drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning and before each meal. We are cutting out chips and are going more for pretzels or unbuttered popcorn. Cucumbers and carrot sticks are some of her favorites.

One of the hardest parts of this conversation was the fact that she has a twin brother who can eat his weight in anything he wants and not show it. They have always had equal everything since birth. But, I decided to talk to her about how her brother will naturally be able to eat more. It made the most sense when I compared them to Mom and Dad. “Dad always eats more than me right? More than likely, your brother will one day outgrow you.” This logic seemed to make a lot of sense to her. I have even heard her say, “I only want 2 pancakes. That makes me full. But, Jack needs to eat more to get full!” Indeed, one of the worse curses from the Garden of Eden!

So, I suppose the moral of the story is that 2010 can be different for our family.  We can decide on healthy choices.  We can take ownership of our schedule and prioritize.  Let me hear what you are doing towards staying healthy this year!

Tash

P.S.  I found www.habitchanger.com had a program devoted to teaching kids healthy choices.  It is worth a look.

I wonder what  he was thinking.  Maybe…”This pathetic woman…sitting all alone with her little reading glasses and book in my cafe…HAS to be an easy target.”

Little did the sly dog know that I was (without children) quietly reveling in every sip of chai, every word read, and in every SINGLE bite of my toast! When I gave my order, with an obvious accent, he just stared for a minute–sort of like I had sprouted a giant American dollar sign from my head. He began with the typical question, “Where are you from?” I ignored his stare and the whispers for about 45 minutes while I read a wonderful, syrupy Christian novel about finding love in Kentucky.

When I walked to the register to pay my bill, he evidently mustered his entire bravado to ask, “So…are you a student here at the music conservatory?” The heat crept into his face beginning at the base of his neck when I said, “Oh no! My CHILDREN are taking piano lessons today! I am only waiting for them!” I took the opportunity to burst into laughter…and he followed my lead. I laughed all the way out the door!

So, in light of this event, I am listing 10 Ways to Avoid an Advance. O.k…some of them are a little drastic and meant more for humor. (number 6) But, aren’t our marriages worth everything? Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who has found a wife has found a good thing…” I think we can take this a step further and infer the opposite as well. Husbands are a good thing, and worth our greatest protection!  So…for your reading enjoyment…

10 Ways to Avoid an Advance

1.  State the obvious.  Sorry NOT INTERESTED.

2.  Married ladies usually show their wedding ring.  I have known single ladies over the years to wear a wedding band type of ring as a protection while traveling alone.

3.  If you have children, mention them…and even better…take them out with you.

4.  I actually knew a single guy here that used to get unwanted advances from girls…and sometimes guys.  He would actually start to pick his nose.  Said it turned them off every time.  Wonder why???

5.  Take out the picture of your family from your wallet and ask them if they want to see.

6.  Urinate.  (I told you some of them were meant for humor!)  Believe it or not, I have heard that self defense teachers encourage this method of warding off an actual attack.  Why not just urinate before the attack has a chance to start?  I mean, when that guy kept pressing against me on the bus a couple of weeks ago, if I had urinated on myself right there, I am SURE he would have taken a step back.

7.  Tell the guy your favorite Bible verse and ask him if he has a personal relationship with Christ.  I actually tried this with a heavy breather that called once.  I told him that what he was doing was sin and asked him if he was ready to repent.  He said, “Um, well, I don’t know.”  I asked him to tell me his name so I could pray for him…and without thinking…he did!   Um, sorry dude.  Cat’s out of the bag now!

8.  It seems to me that most men leave the room when we women break out our childbirth stories.  So…ask if they would like to hear what happened when you got your epidural—or better yet, what it felt like when you didn’t get your epidural!

9.  Develop a sudden twitch or head tick.

10.  If you are going to an area that you think might afford you unwanted advances, try to plan to go with a friend.

Our holiday celebrations began this year at my children’s school. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, we decided to give homemade cookies from a cookie exchange to the kids teachers this year for a Christmas/New Year’s present. The day came to deliver the packages. We had them nicely boxed with miles of curling ribbon on top.

Being that we live overseas, I wasn’t sure if the teachers would like the cookies. The cookies here have a different texture and flavor, but they seemed to be a hit. If you’ve ever had the chance to read Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortensen, you understand that in this part of the world, nothing happens, neither business transaction nor friendly visit…without tea. When we delivered the cookies to the principal of the school, he was holding the telephone to one ear, typing with both hands, and simultaneously taking notes. He motioned us to sit down and somehow before we had even taken our seats, he had ordered the helper to give us tea…which amazingly appeared on the table in front of us before our falling bottoms even hit the chair!  It was pure magic, in my opinion. Daily hospitality here blows my mind. The poor man was obviously busy, but one thing you must understand is that I CANNOT drink anything that is super hot right away. I stirred. I added more sugar. I stirred some more. I held it in my hand, hoping that the heat would transfer into my skin. My husband was long finished and had been offered a second cup before I had taken the first sip. His eyes were pleading with me to “DRINK for Heaven’s sake!” but what was I to do? I eventually got it down and we excused ourselves to deliver the next present.

A few days later came the annual New Year’s gift exchange for the kid’s class. When I was growing up, we did this every year at school and when the day finally arrived, we sort of just handed our secret pal her gift and then we all ripped into the packages like a bunch of little busy ants. There were some major differences in the play out this year. The class mother drew out names for each kid, making a list, but did not tell the kid whose name they drew.  One by one each kid was summoned to the front of the class to present his gift.  Each child was instructed to say, “Happy Years.”  The one receiving the gift was to say a polite “thank you.”  We stood and watched this happen 33 times.  The obvious importance placed in this culture on gracious sayings and thank you’s was evident each time a mother would whisper, “That one didn’t even say ‘Thank you.’”  It was all very orderly.  Then when it was time for party food, some of us mothers filled each plate with something sweet and something salty, and each child received a heaping portion of stuffed grape leaves on the side.  I would have been disgusted as a kid at this dish.  But, my children were in line asking for seconds.  It has been one of their favorite dishes throughout their young lives.

Today, New Year’s Day, we were invited by dear friends and neighbor’s to go on a picnic.  Yes, it is warm enough in December for a picnic.  We didn’t even wear winter coats.  Only sweatshirts.  We grilled chicken, lamb kabob and the local version of sausage. We had green salad, bread and my personal favorite…grilled egplant and garlic salad.  I can’t get enough.  Afterwards, cookies, cake, and, of course….tea, tea, tea.  What a fabulous way to spend New Year’s.  Maybe it will become our new tradition!

I leave you with one parting thought, from one of my favorite texts in the Bible.  2 Cor. 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new.”  2010–An exciting time to allow for NEW THINGS.    Love to all, Tash

This is our seventh year of living overseas. Out of those seven years, only two of our Christmas seasons were spent in the States. As you might imagine, that was difficult at first. Of course, we missed our families, and still do at Christmas time. Time doesn’t change some things.

However, in our first city, the total lack of festivities was the biggest shocker. No tinsel. No trees. No plastic, light-up Santa’s in the lawn. Wait…no lawn for that matter. No Christmas play at church, or candy canes. My husband did bring home a tiny little tree that he found, and I do mean TINY! Charlie Brown’s tree was a Sequoia comparatively. On Christmas morning, we actually had a visit from the local police to check our residence permits…like it was any other day!

I have watched more and more over the years, especially now that we live in a much larger city, the beginning flood of Western Christmas. It is different…it is all in light of New Year’s, but it is still nice. However, I have made a list of some interesting differences that are quite noticeable, even here. Enjoy a look into our lives!

1. The water delivery guy still comes if you call on Christmas day. A big bonus in my book.

2. Pizza for dinner is great when you have cooked a big Christmas breakfast. As mentioned before…they still deliver on Christmas!

3. Trying to keep everyone out of the last 2 packs of bacon, meant for Christmas breakfast can be quite a chore. (No pork sold in our country!) The kids know where I keep it!

4. Hanging the stockings from the buffet knobs. Ha. No fireplace in a 10 story apartment building.

5. Santa Claus selling lottery tickets on the street.

6. Kids have school on Christmas Day. We let them stay home, of course, but the teacher scheduled a parent-teacher meeting on Christmas morning at 10;45. I politely asked if I could skip…:)

7. Most of our friends here have no clue that we celebrate anything on the 25th of December. They think the hoopla in the movies is all about New Year’s.

8. There are no other kids to “keep up with” for Christmas presents!

May you each and every one have a joyous and blessed Christmas!

I had such a good idea.  A couple of years ago, a good friend gave an advent calendar to my children as a present.  We really enjoyed opening all the little packages, and the thrill of the countdown to Christmas.  Each day came with a devotion from scripture.  Why not have one made that we can reuse each year? Seems simple enough right?  So, much like a racehorse being released to freedom at the opening of the gate, I raced out of our apartment, primed and ready to go with my sketch to the seamstress in our neighborhood. (Don’t look at me as though your friendly neighborhood seamstress doesn’t exist.  I am not writing from the 1950’s.  Just from another country. ) The seamstress, Meryem, was overjoyed at the chance to make something other than her ordinary repertoire of children’s school costumes and evening attire.  She was even excited about the chance to learn about a tradition from Western culture.

Two weeks later, I picked up my project and brought it home.  She had used a red, satiny material for the background.  Stitched onto this background were 31 shiny, gold pockets.  My plans were to buy sticky backed velcro strips and make numbers to place on each pocket that could be moved around each year corresponding to the dates on the calendar.

Problem number one–couldn’t find sticky velcro.  After a few days, my husband took me to the big…Home Depotish store here in our city.  We were able to find it there.

Problem number two–sticky velcro falls off of material.  Each morning, before we look at our advent calendar, we just stick the numbers back on.  Ha.

Problem number three–after looking quickly for a list of scriptures to use in for the calendar, I found a great example.  Then I proceeded to write up each day…”Thursday, Dec.3rd…Luke 2:3-4,” not realizing that NEXT year DEC. 3rd will NOT be on THURSDAY.  Thus, my plan for having a calendar that was ready made for next year…well…that flew out the window.

What did I learn?  It isn’t as simple as apple pie.  But…it is so worth it.  My family has really been enjoying the devotionals that we have been able to do.  Here are a couple of links you can try if you are interested.  One, more simple way to do it, would be to only have 25 days of counting and start each year at Dec. 1st.  I love the calendar in the picture above using origami.  It is “Origami Envelope Advent Calendar” from www.activityvillage.co.uk.

http://www.ehow.com/how_11216_make-advent-calendar.html

http://www.biblereferenceguide.com/christ/advent.html

What are YOU doing in celebration this year?

Tash

This morning, BEFORE my alarm sounded, (sigh) my eight-year-old daughter woke me. It wasn’t the normal, “Mom…I had a bad dream,” or “Mom, can I watch a movie,”…no…it was vomit. The lovely sound of a very healthy gag reflex.

I jumped out of bed, sure that I was going to find the place grotesque enough to rival a Stephen King film, but, she had made it to the toilet. Whew.

Next came the question I knew would be on her mind before she even had a chance to wipe her face. “Do I have to go to school?” My answer was…something that will shock my friends that live in the States. “Yes.” Unfortunately, since we have experienced abdominal amoebas in the past, living abroad, I knew all too well that she was having a flair up, and more than likely was not contagious. No fever, and sure enough, no more vomit during the day at all. Lots of tears were shed, and finally, a look of resolve blanketed her amazing green eyes, and she decided to make the best of it.

A couple of minutes passed, until I began singing the tune that was running through my mind for a couple of days. “It’s the most wonderful time…of the year!” My daughter and her quick wit sang, “It’s the most WORSTEST time…of the year.” I could not stifle my laughter. Oh the hardship that we mothers get the pleasure of heaping onto our children!

It made me think about the fact that Christmas is going to be very different in my homeland this year. Just tonight I got an email from an old friend whose wife hasn’t received her pay for quite sometime because she is a free lance computer analyst. Her clients just don’t have any money to pay her. It saddens me to think of the similar stories that I have heard this year, and how our Christmas season will most definitely change. But, I have also heard very heart warming stories of creativity in gift giving. This year, my kids will be giving their teachers and our neighbors homemade cookies.

Maybe it feels like “The Most Worstest Time,” yet…we might all find that this year, we can identify just the slightest bit more with a young family, two thousand years ago, that made a difficult journey only to lay their newborn infant in a manger?

My friends, may you have the happiest, merriest, most wonderful holiday season!

photo by N. Kohlmann

Well, here we go world! On this day, Sunday, November 15, 2009…a NEW THING is happening. I have actually figured out, with the help of a few great friends, how to put the thoughts of my mind through my keyboard, onto the World Wide Web. It’s quite an exciting, humbling, and fearful endeavor for someone that can barely turn on her coffeepot in the mornings. Yet, here I am typing away!

I love to write. I love to read. My husband loves when I am writing all of these things out into cyberspace instead of making him listen to my running commentaries. This was actually his idea, and as I type, I am wondering if I should decide to take offense.

The truth is friends, I have learned throughout my years that you never know what each day might bring. You never know when God might give you the chance to laugh, cry, or celebrate.

So, this site is dedicated to new things. But, I have grappled with this title because, as we all know, there is nothing NEW under the sun. Sure, things take different forms from generation to generation, but truly NEW is hard-pressed to be found. But, maybe as we each go through our journeys, as we each embark on new dawns, we might learn that some things are new to US.  And that we can all benefit from sharing what life has taught us…looking forward to New Things Every Day….

Be Blessed…

Tash